In my first ‘big girl job’ at one of the big four banks, I thought I had leadership figured out.

I was doing well, getting noticed, and stepping into opportunities that told me I was on the right track. So I doubled down on what I believed a strong leader looked like. Driven. Direct. Results-focused at all costs. I pushed hard, stayed firm, and made sure things got done.

And it worked. On the surface.

Then I completed a strengths inventory as part of a leadership program, and everything shifted.

My top strengths came back as love, kindness, gratitude, leadership, and appreciation of beauty.

I remember thinking, “How am I supposed to succeed with this?”

None of it matched the leadership style I had been trying to emulate. None of it looked like what was being rewarded around me.

But that moment forced a realisation I hadn’t been willing to face.

I wasn’t succeeding because I’d found the right way to lead. I was succeeding despite the fact I was working against myself.

Because the truth was, I was exhausted.